21 Sep IVF- CCS outcome…
Lisa’s Life Times Two
I have been putting off writing this post for awhile. I have been through so much this past month, it is hard for me to put into words how I actually feel. I referenced in a prior post I was starting IVF-CCS. (Comprehensive Chromosone Screening). To put it lightly, it was probably one of the worst experiences I have gone through. The emotions were uncontrollable, there were nasty side effects from all the medications and injections, the hard to accept financial stress, and just plain worry and angst. Don’t get me wrong, there are many other women who have gone through the same procedure with flying colors and ended up with a beautiful bouncing baby. I cannot say the same. I am heartbroken.
I will briefly tell you my experience. IVF needs to be timed with your periods/ovulation and you are monitored regularly with blood tests and ultrasounds to check your hormone levels. For two weeks you are put on a medication called Estrace. (I was extremely emotional, sad, crying, depressed and it gave me migraines/dizziness) When your period comes, you contact your nurse and she tells you when to start your injections.
A little back story on my needle fear. Since a little girl I have not only been scared, but petrified of needles/shots/and even the dentist..and yes it is a thing —> Trypanophobia. I have fainted so many times in my life over needles. I even remember the first time I fainted, I was about four years old, we raised chickens growing up. One of the roosters escaped the coop and it barreled over to me and pecked me, I fainted into my dads arms. From that moment on I feel the same panic whenever I come into contact (and sometimes even think about) with needles. Needless to say my poor husband who had never given a needle in his life had to be the unfortunate one to give me my injections. Let me tell you, it NEVER got easier after each injection, even though I had well over 30 shots within two weeks and my bloodwork was taken every second day. (yes, I ask for the “fainting room” so they take my blood with me lying down…no way am I going to be strapped to the chair). Menopur, Puregon, Orgalutran are the injection names that will stay with me forever. The injections go into the stomach and you have to rotate the area of the injection site. I iced for 10 minutes prior, but it doesn’t take away the stinging or burning.
I seem to have gotten all the possible mentioned side effects from those meds. My hair fell out so much my husband used to joke about making a wig from all my hair in the shower drain. When they tell you, you might have slight bloating, that was a understatement, I literally couldn’t fit into any of my clothes. I had one “tent” like dress I wore everyday (thank goodness for summer), and by the second week I made my husband take me to La Senza to buy new panties, so embarrassing, mine didn’t fit anymore and I wasn’t about to go commando ;). I looked about 5 months pregnant. I had so much anxiety and I had no outlet to relieve my stress. With me being a runner, I was warned it was extremely important not to do any exercise except walking, anything strenuous could twist the ovaries,
At the end of two weeks of injections and at my last ultrasound I got the OK to administer the “Trigger Shot“. That shot needs to be administered at the exactly your scheduled time. Egg retrieval is scheduled for 36 hours later (when you are ovulating). The timing is extremely important. I was so nervous egg retrieval morning. When we got to the clinic, David had to give “his sample” straight away, and he got whisked off to a room. I was by myself where I got the IV put in (ugh) and given Tylonel and Gravol. After about half an hour, David was able to accompany me in the Operating Room for the egg retrieval, this was the terrifying and painful part. I was given Fentanyl (yes, the scary drug that has taken so many lives), and I was fully awake during the procedure. You might not want to Google “Egg Retrieval”, it is not pleasant and I could feel pinching, prodding, poking and the nurse kept reminding me to breathe because I was holding my breath. The only good part about the procedure is they had a huge screen in front of us on the wall and it showed a petri dish and after each egg was collected it would go in the dish and we saw all my eggs on the big screen. Very interesting.
About half an hour after the procedure, the surgeon came in to tell us we had 11 eggs retrieved. This is a great number, especially in my age group. The nurse then called on Day 1, 3, and 5 and told me of the progress of my embryos. Oh my goodness, it was so stressful sitting by the phone waiting to hear how your embryos were developing.
Seven eggs fertilized. Four of the embryos made it to day 3. But by day 5 only two made Grade A quality (yes, they grade them like eggs) and were able to be biopsied (CCS). The biopsy’s are sent to Florida to be analyzed. You are again put on Estrace to get your body ready for the embryo transfer, with the thinking the results of the biopsy would be good and the embryos would be put back in.
Then again you wait to hear from the genetic counsellor about your results..after the longest two weeks ever, I got the devastating news, both embryos had chromosomal abnormalities. I had to relay the information to David, we were both numb. So many thoughts were going through our heads. We went through so much to get to this point and to hear neither of the embryos were going to make it. It was saddening news and it has taken me awhile to try and get past this.
Where does this leave us in our baby journey? We think this is the end of the road. We will try naturally without any pressures and stresses for awhile and leave the rest up to God.